Harness the rage
Now we know what this means. (c) FAKEGRIMLOCK
This week we got punched hard. Multiple times. We had the two longest outages of our history in two consecutive days. We lost our biggest customer (and probably more to come). Our biggest licensing partner doesn’t want to play ball anymore. Our bank account is razor thin. Fuck.
You have heard about the rollercoaster ride that is entrepreneurship. It’s not an apt analogy because rollercoasters are designed as a rapid succession of highs and lows, but in any entrepreneurial endeavor the highs and lows are very unevenly distributed. They generally come in clumps of highs followed by months of even keel, and then punishingly consecutive lows.
How do the lows feel? Frustration at first. Disbelief (“why is this happening to me?”). Anxiety. You think of giving up. Some people teeter on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I tossed and tossed for hours in bed the other night. I couldn’t possibly have gotten out of bed if it weren’t for a 10 minute long hug from my wife.
2 Excedrines and 8 hours later. The sun is out. Glorious walk in the forest. My thoughts start to get organized. More than my thoughts. My feelings.
Why am I taking everything so personally? Why do disappointments hurt so much? Then I remember. I have every penny in this. Not just my money. My investors (many of them my friends and family). 8 families who rely on this to work. My brothers in arms.
So it’s personal. And you know what that means? It means it matters so much to me that I’m not going to let it fail. Not because of this. Any of this.
So I channel my rage. Because this is what I feel. I channel it to do better. To find more reliable providers. To build a more robust system. To accelerate our sales & marketing. To improve our customer relationship tools. To find better licensing partners. I channel my rage to build a substantially better business.
I must burn.